holly B. photography

MC Hammer’s Too Legit To Quit played through the tiny speaker on my black plastic tape player while i danced around and day dreamed about his upcoming concert i had tickets to. i was holding a two inch barrel curling iron up to my head and my wrists were starting to ache. the smell of Aqua Net hairspray filled the air, as mists of it were still landing on my shoulders and the heat from the curling iron was starting to burn my scalp. as i looked into the frameless bathroom mirror above the old pedestal sink, all i could think to myself was “higher”. my bangs needed to be HIGHER. it was 1991 and i, (along with the rest of my 6th grade class), was rockin’ the poufy, sprayed bangs trend on a daily basis. but i had a big secret weighing me down. while i genuinely loved my neon, spiral, no-tie shoe laces and hyper color t-shirts, (hell, who wouldn’t love those amazing inventions), i really didn’t like this hair trend. yet, here i was, spending 15 minutes trying to get my hair to look like everyone else’s.

the bangs were just one of many trends i would follow through the years, although my insecurities weren’t limited to style. like most teenagers, i had a list of physical insecurities as well. i had a big nose and thin lips. i had size 8.5 feet and long toes, while most of my friends had cute, petite feet. i had a freak metabolism and while i usually ate fries and snickers for lunch, i was super skinny with bony legs and knees. some punk named Ralph at my bus stop used to laugh at me and tell everyone i had an eating disorder and that i threw up my food. what a swell guy.

today, at the age of 31, being too skinny has no longer been an issue for well over a decade now. thigh cellulite and face wrinkles have now taken skinny’s place. i still have what i consider a big nose, (although i can hear my mom’s voice arguing this as i write), and thin lips that no amount of lip plumper can help. i still have big feet, only after pregnancy they are now a size 9. and, while i still have my moments where i curse these physical things and hate my style, i can genuinely say that i love ME.

i once read a quote that said something to the effect of, “when you’re younger you spend all of your time trying to be like everyone else and fit in… when you get older you spend your time focusing on how to stand out”. isn’t that the truth?! when you’re an adult applying for that dream job of yours or going on a date with that guy you’ve already been secretly dating in your head for months, you WANT to stand out. your strengths, your weaknesses and individual personality and physical traits are what will set you apart. they are what will lead to you being hired for that dream job and married to your dream guy. unless it doesn’t. in which case- and this is the hardest part to grasp at times- better things are in store for you. the most important thing is that you should never change yourself for someone else. find someone who loves you or wants to hire you for YOU.

i know a lot of times confidence is just something that we all have to learn on our own to some degree. i definitely felt like my teens were my awkward years and my 20’s were for discovering who i was and where i belonged in this sometimes overwhelming world. i’m not sure if it was hitting my 30’s or becoming a mother when i started really embracing ME, (because those both came at the same time), but i know that i am now more comfortable in my skin than ever before.

as a photographer that specializes in photographing high school senior girls, confidence is something i always want my subjects to feel in front of my camera. it is then that their true self really shines through and makes for pictures that leave their parents tearing up while watching their proof gallery slideshow in my office. while i don’t love to see anyone cry, i do love the feeling i get when i can see that i truly captured the personalities of a parent’s daughter. their soon-to-be leaving for college child that they still picture as their little baby girl. there is no bigger compliment i can receive or better reward of my job. while i may have to “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle- YEAH!” dance at times to get my subjects embarrassed for me and to relax in front of my camera, i’d gladly make myself look like an idiot any day for these kiddos if it means helping them relax and letting their true self shine through.

i’m not sure if the reason i think so much about these things is just because of my job, or if it has to do with the fact that i love studying people and that i tend to overanalyze everyone and everything. it’s probably a little of both. either way, it is why my Class of 2013 Campaign is called { B. you }. my hopes are to promote self confidence not only in my seniors, but in anyone who follows my work. the message will be starting this weekend with my class of 2013 photo shoot and i can’t wait to share it with you!

so, as the 90’s trends start to trickle back in, you definitely won’t find THIS girl with poufed up, hair sprayed bangs again. i don’t care if Lauren Conrad or Nicole Richie are sporting the look. but, if anyone knows where to find a hyper color shirt, hit me up. i will definitely rock that thing like no other!

* old friend whose arm that belongs to has been cropped out of the photo to protect her from scrutiny. yep, she had the poufy bangs too.